What's the question that no one is asking?

Uncategorized Sep 08, 2020

You are likely facing a lot of different challenges as a result of everything that’s happened this year.  From a pandemic to rioting and protests, 2020 is a year we will all speak about for decades to come.

You may be facing some additional stress.  Some things may not be going the way they should or you had hoped.  Your family may be even more stressed than usual.  Same thing with your team at work.  With all of these areas of additional stress, you may be ready to do something different: to prepare yourself for even greater success!

“What’s the question that no one is asking me yet, Paul?” asked one of my clients recently.  It’s questions like this that I LOVE to receive during my consulting sessions.

She’s been facing a lot of stress lately.  With her husband (he got laid off), with her teenagers starting school and not being able to actually attend it, and from work as the CEO of a business.  ...

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Taking a minute... or two...

Uncategorized Sep 03, 2020

Hey leader!

Izzy and I have been on a retreat in beautiful Carlsbad, California!  She has spent most of the time rolling around in the little "yard" we have just off the patio.  I've spent a lot of time to slow down and think.

To think about everything we have around us that enables society to continue despite a deadly virus. To be grateful for others.

To think about the exchanges between people, sometimes verbal, sometimes violent, and often misleading in the news. To be grateful to greet others.

To think about the upcoming election in the USA as Americans come together to choose our head of state for the next four years.  To be grateful to have the right to vote in my country.

To think about what it means to Take Command of one's self at an even higher level during times like these.  To be grateful for my ability to choose how I live and grow.

To slow down and define my new normal before it is set out for me.  To be grateful to take a minute, or...

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Collect Data to Succeed

Uncategorized Jun 10, 2019

When you want to be successful, it helps to define success. We started by defining what a win meant. Then covered how intent influences your wins. Next, we’ll cover how collecting data is the last, integral part in order to succeed!

Missing the Mark

Have there been those times in your life when you’ve missed the mark?

The judgment can close in like a nasty fog. You shouldn’t be doing this. You’re no good. Quit Now. You never should have tried.

It happens.

When that happens, look for the data.

Ask yourself: why was on or not on call? Regardless of whether you hit the mark or not. You look for the data until you’re like Robin Hood and your shots and splitting your arrows again and again and again.

That would be the gold standard. If you’re not hitting the center of the target every single time, there are things you can improve.

Make it Fun Again

Approach it like a game. Keep it light and fun! It doesn’t mean that you’re not taking it...

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Does Intent Matter?

Uncategorized Jun 06, 2019

This is part two on my series of Defining Your Win. Read Part one here.

We went over the origin of the words “win” and “sin” and how it came it from archery:

  • Sin = missing the mark.
  • Win = hitting the mark.

However, (spoiler alert!) intent matters.

Being on Call

In the Marine Corps, there is a term called being on call.

I won two trophy medals on a shooting team. These are competition medals. Out of the few hundred people who have won that, I was one of the few who had won the medal in consecutive years.

Basically, that means that I can shoot a piece of paper with no scope really well.

Let’s mix the concepts of being on call with our archery metaphor from earlier.

You look downrange, pull back the arrow, and release.

As the string twangs, you take a look at where you think it’s going to hit. This is very much based on experience.

When the arrow goes where you think it’s going to go, that’s called “Being on call.”...

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Defining Your Win

Uncategorized Jun 04, 2019

The Meaning of “Win”

I love words! I love the etymology of words. I love studying the vernacular, which is when society uses words incorrectly.

For example, in the Marine Corps, “Physical Training” is called PT. We would say, did you PT yet?

As in, “Did you Physical Training yet?”

The answer would be, “Yes, I PT’d today.”

The meaning gets across even if would be weird if we broke it down to the roots.



Let’s look at the root of the word “Win”. Going all the way back to Greek, the word comes from “hamartia” which means “Sin.”

Let’s think about going to the archery range. When you shot at the target, if you missed the bulls-eye, you said that you sinned. Ultimately, it means that you missed the mark.

In Judeo-Christian texts, they borrowed this term to indicate that you missed the mark of the religious directives.

The opposite of a “sin” then, is a...

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The Power of Celebration

Uncategorized Jun 01, 2019

Justification is a sneaky monster.

We sometimes develop these habits which we then justify. We say, “the reason for this…” or “My life has been too busy to…”

After I left the Marine Corps, I had been doing this in my life. I had moved back in with my parents. My room quickly devolved into an absolute mess.

My bed was a nest. Piles of paper everywhere. Dirty laundry piled high like thick Amazon undergrowth. I only had little spaces for my tiptoes to navigate through my room.

The mess in my room was a metaphor for the deeper mess in the rest of my life.

It felt like my life was out of control and would never get better. It felt like that I was beyond hope. I was in a rut. And a rut is nothing more than an open-ended grave.

So, on the night of November 12, 2015, I resolved to take my life.

And then I saw an ad from my old college friend, Brendon Burchard. I watched his video. I bought his course.

One of the first things he taught was this: high...

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The Simple Way to Win Your Dreams

Uncategorized May 29, 2019

The Key

Observate. It’s a word. I looked it up because I really wanted it to be a word so it would fit in my rhyme.

Observate. Celebrate. Accelerate.

Why do I emphasize this so much?

Because this is how you magic momentum out of thin air.

People will ask me, “how on earth is your life moving forward so fast and you’re picking up speed?”

November 12, 2015, I was preparing to take my life. Again. If they had they coffee punch cards for suicidal ideations, where you have 10 plans, get the 11th for free, I would have several cards saved up.

It was terrible.

It was this constant cycle of...

  • Event happens
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Impulsive decision to figure out what’s next

After you’ve done this enough times, you back yourself into a corner devoid of options.

The Podcast

The good thing is that a few months ahead of November 12th, I had started listening to podcasts. I got an iPhone 6+ since I had thought that was the only way to listen to podcasts.


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The Winner's Grid Part 2

Uncategorized May 23, 2019

Continuing on with exploring the Winner’s Grid, we’re going to cover our last two squares. Hang on to your hats, because that last square continues to amaze people and accelerate their goal achievement!

The Winner’s Square

This is the upper left square. It encompasses things that you want and are willing to earn.

You know what these things are. In large part, because these are the places where you’re actively spending your energy.

The members of my Winners’ Circle gave some examples from their lives:

  • Client acquisition
  • Making money
  • Relationship building
  • New product testing
  • Improving health
  • Adventures

Whatever it is, you can tell when it’s part of your Winner’s Square. You often have a laundry list of activities that you’re actively working on.

The key word here is “actively.” When you’re in the winner’s circle, you’re accomplishing tasks to achieve your goal.

The Swamp Square

This is the square that...

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The Winner’s Grid Part 1

Uncategorized May 22, 2019

Here’s the thing about entitlement and “deserving” things… This 2x2 grid is going to blow your mind. So hang on to the top of your head, especially if you’ve recently done you hair, because this is going to blow your mind!

The Wart Box

There are some things that  you have in your life that showing up and you don’t want. And yet… they’re here.

Kind of like a wart.

We would put those things in the bottom half of the grid, because you don’t want them. We would put them on the left hand side, because, in some fashion, you are earning it somehow.

I say this with all love and humility, you’re earning it somehow.

This is a tough one to understand and accept. Let’s tackle it.

For example, suffering from unresolved trauma. Now, let’s be clear. You didn’t deserve the trauma. You definitely didn’t want the trauma. Yet, you are still suffering from the unresolved trauma.

The reason being that you can...

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Re-engage Your Best Self

Uncategorized May 17, 2019

It doesn’t matter what you want. Whether it’s advancing your career. Or improving your relationships. Or hitting for the stands and getting out to win your dreams.

The single most effective tool for achieving any of those things, or even self improvement, is the 5 Rs of Assessment:

  1. Recognize
  2. Rejoice
  3. Reset
  4. Research
  5. Re-engage

Click those links above to learn more about each of these steps!


Get Back in the Game!

Take one of those options from Research and implement it!

I’m not the biggest sports fan, but they make great metaphors!

Take basketball. A player runs up and down the court. Back and forth. Making plays. Blocking shots. Using energy.

At some point, the player takes a break, sitting on the bench. That’s a perfect time for rest and also reflection. To review the game. What did you do well? What can you differently? What are your goals once you get back in the game?

Because that’s the important thing: no basketball player wants to be a...

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